OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
