Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
worst night to have a conscience
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
