nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
