He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
