mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Soap is not a condiment
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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