i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
