Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can vaginas get frostbite?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
