Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
