just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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