Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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