I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
