My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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