So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize