Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
