Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
