I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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