escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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