i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
