By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
