Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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