i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
