im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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