im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
