3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize