i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
