Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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