My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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