I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
