You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
