I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
