Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
