Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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