Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
