he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
