I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
