6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
