you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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