he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
