the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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