Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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