they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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