Pappa wants mamma naked
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
