She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
