i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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