Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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