i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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