You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
