Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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