I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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