Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He did a backflip because drugs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
