About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want a musical about memes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize