If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
