I hate all girls vehemently.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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