just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
