she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize