My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize