Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
