No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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