You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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