you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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