The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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