Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My bed smells like the plague
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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