My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
