I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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