3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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