I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
