my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
