Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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