So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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